I have an interesting way of thinking you know, when something important happens in my life a scene related to the situation comes to my mind. Yesterday wasn't any different. For as long as I can remember I led a private life, even within my family some part of me felt always lonely and for some other reasons which are irrelevant with this topic I had to conceal my feelings and put on a brave face.
You know the movie Mulan, about a brave young Chinese girl stepping in for her father and goes to war disguised as a man. At the beginning of the movie there is a scene where they tried to sell her off as a bride to be and she failed terribly. Humiliated, heartbroken and ashamed, she returns home and cleans off the makeup, her mask, with her sleeve crying. She asks her reflection and her ancestors with disappointment and shame 'When will my reflection show who I am inside?' . That scene always draws tears to my eyes. I know the feeling all too well. At least I got to be me for a short while, will I be ever again, who knows?
Sometimes to protect the ones we love we have to conceal our true feelings, joy, affection and even our laughter. Mulan had to be a man and a warrior for her fathers sake, even if that meant to conceal her love to her captain, Shang.
I had written some more but unfortunately it got deleted... :( but even if I can not rewrite it completely I could write something close.
All I want to tell is that no matter the disguise my heart remains true, let my love surround you even though I can not always be with you, let me be your moon hidden from sight and let me be the sun shining only for you...
To be lost in your embrace is all I want to do...
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