Is there any truth out there?

For far too long I have been fed things, lies, facts call them what you like,  turning you into a monster. They scared me, threatened me, forced me to tell. They told me I was like a daughter, a sister, an innocent being who is mollested by a culprit , a liar. They told me that you intended to use me, you were after my money and worse. They said that you wanted to blackmail me in order to use me. That I shouldn't answer you, no matter what. She told me that you were happy. That all your misery was a lie. You acting miserable was a game. You never loved me, you never really cared. After being fed that many things at one point I was afraid of you. That's when I told them I received a dove singing a meaningless song , it was me, then the two started to ask me all the time, if I saw ten I told them Only one. They never heard one. And the stories about the light and the drake they know nothing about. Never told them. the window too.  The young one went mad when I said hello to you about a month ago, they scared me so. I was forbidden to look, to utter a single word. They threatened to banish you, they asked me to kill you in my mind. They did everything and I started to believe. What else could I do. I was helpless... I will write some more...forgive me for believing them. It was so dark back then...before the stories...after the stories my mind became clearer and I started to doubt. why would I destroy the only happiness I have, I never lied to you, why would I start now?